JLrockstar17 on Xanga

Weblog

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

With your hands held open
You scream
Say something, say something
I can’t look past the cold gray concrete
The sidewalk ended six pace back
But I keep walking
With your hands held open you scream
Say something, Say something
But silence is so comforting in the face of confrontation
I want to say something, say something
But the words are fleeting
All I feel is desperation in this milky moonlight

With your hands clenched tightly you scream
Say something, Say something
But my lips won’t move. I will
Say nothing, say nothing
I have no reason to divulge the information on the brink of
Shattering
The echoes are the only things that wake my senses
Direct sound from the ground builds higher fences around me
You can say that I’m not making this easy
But you can’t deny that with some time you’re gonna lose me

With your hands clenched tightly you scream
Say something, say something
But my mouth is shut and I will
Say nothing, say nothing to you
I have no reason to turn back and face you
Jealousy is company and is gnawing through
Contamination of my patience wakes your skeleton
To six pace back
And six pace under the ground
Hey, stay there?
What I Love

Want to know? I’ll tell you.

l i v e . m u s i c

I just came back from a concert I found out about ohhhh six hours ago? My brother and I got tickets in the pit and ended up in the second row. It was totally amazing. The bands?
-New Found Glory
-Tegan and Sara
-Paramore!

Let me just say, that Paramore is fucking amazing live. Hayley Williams has the most contagious energy when she’s on stage. Being in that crowd and feeding off the adrenaline is a sensation I really can’t duplicate anywhere else. When you make eye contact with a lead singer, or a guitarist, or anyone in a band and get them to recognize you, its like everyone else disappears and its just you and them singing the music.

I’ve always wanted to be on stage like that. To have just one person know the words to my songs, oh! its such a dream of mine. Being at a concert just heightens that desire in me. Its like an artist visiting an art museum. Its an inspirational overload. Really, if I could do one thing with the rest of my life- it would be performing on stage with a loud guitar and cute set of talented musicians to back me up.

That’s what I love. If I could go to a live show every night, I would.
But I’d be fucking broke.
“The world doesn’t need another band woah oh oh oh woah oh oh oh.”

Monday, 26 July 2010

Today is a day of firsts.
First day on this blog, first day of my diet/exercise plan, first day of college work, first day the kid I babysit hasn’t been downstairs before nine in the morning, first day of serious party planning, first day of realization that I move out in a month.
I just finished my first college assignment. I had to read a selection from the book How to Read a Book.
It was actually really interesting. The author talked about active reading as opposed to passive reading and the different types of note taking within the pages.
“The rules for reading yourself to sleep are easier to follow than are the rules for staying awake while reading,” (p 45).

“People go to sleep over good books not because they are unwilling to make the effort, but because they do not know how to make it,” (p 48).
“Good books are over your head; they would not be good for you if they were not,” (p 48).”
“Any art or skill is possessed by those who have formed the habit of operating according to its rules,” (p 52).
“You cannot follow rules you do not know. Nor can you aquire an artistic habit- any craft or skill- without following the rules,” (p 53).
These are just some of the quotes that I highlighted for discussion. The author relates reading to different ”art forms” that require rules and skill. This relationship allows him to apply these rules to reading. He comes to the reader as a mentor or “instructor,” putting himself above the reader to create a sense of validity. We want to listen to him because just a a good book, he is speaking “over our heads.”
Sorry if that was totally boring but I find it very interesting.
First day of the diet? Its going alright. I woke up in a terrible rush to not be late for my job so I accidently skipped breakfast which is not good. At around 10:30 I made myself a salad to make up for it and get my metabolism going. When I get home at five, I’m going to eat some fruit and go for a walk with my dog. I might jog if its not too hot.

I feel like if I write what I’m doing, I’ll be less likely to go off track. I’m very motivated at the moment so hopefully this helps keep me there.
I may update later, but as for right now, I’m done.

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Motivation

"Its not easy admitting your demons, tangled up in seasons."
-VersaEmerge

Today is a total me day.

I'm starting my summer work for the honors college at SCSU.
We have to read and analyze (not summarize) two books and a short essay.
Not too bad.

I'm also reorganizing my list of what I actually need to bring to school, which as of right now is about 10% completed.
I went shopping this weekend and got a bunch of cute things for the fall.
Whilst walking around the outlet mall I found the most amazing store for us plus sized ladies.
Its called The Loop 18 and is branched off of Lane Bryant stores.
Its a JUNIORS plus sized store. YES!!!!!!! Hallelujah!
I found it the first day it opened, so as of right now, the selection is quite small but everything in it was super cute.
Not too pricey either.
The selection was very military/rocker inspired with a cute sparkly twist.
I totally fell in love with it
And spent about 75$ there... not too bad for four pairs of leggings, a dress, a shirt, the most amazing pair of jeans that have ever graced the shape of my giant butt, and a totally cute 3/4 sleeved military inspired jacket.
It was a good day, not going to lie.
I also picked up a pair of leather ankle boots for 30$ among other bits and pieces of a wardrobe in the works.
Not to mention the four pairs of shoes I got on clearance.... *dies*

Anyway, back to being motivated and hard working-
I'm also starting the cleanse phase of a "diet" that I'll be instating for the rest of the month.
I've gained so much weight this past year.
It needs to go.
If I'm going to be good at track in the winter, and working those amazing jeans, I need to drop a few.
And by a few I mean something like 50 pounds.
I'm hoping that my athletic training will help with the exercise part when I get to school, and also having to walk about two miles a day around campus.
But I know exercise isn't enough- so I'm going to be controlling what I put into my body.
I found the motivation, I'm going to keep it.

Fruits and Veggies people!

I should probably get started on that book now....

Thursday, 22 July 2010

60 Possibilities

A minute is a span of 60 possiblilities
As each one passes
Another approaches
And so continues the cycle
Of time
Within these constraints,
The relationship between
When
and
Where,
Is where we find ourselves scrambling
To be on

To be on time
Is a measure of success versus failure
Motivation versus None
and
You vs. The World
Overcome
"Extenuating Circumstances"
To prove your place,
Your importance
In that second out of sixty
In someone else's eyes
A minute
Is a span of 60 possiblilities
That could be the most important moments
Of your life
Don't fuck it up.